If you want a better marriage, make space for mistakes.

If you work with couples long enough, eventually you’re going to hear this question. I made a mistake…should I tell my spouse? What that means is that particular marriage has done something, something inside that marriage has made the space not safe for sharing mistakes.

The answer to that question is how can we make a safe space for mistakes. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t natural consequences for making a mistake. Anytime there’s a mistake, anytime there’s a wrongdoing or an injury, there are natural consequences that flow from that.

What it does mean is that when it’s all said and done, and we share with each other about the mistake or the wrongdoing, And we work through that –whatever that means– we are still going to be married. And sometimes we can make space for mistakes just by stating that in our marriage. Whatever happens here, whatever you do or whatever I do, we’ll work through it. We’re going to still be married.

Want a better marriage? Make space for mistakes.